I didn’t always want to be a filmmaker. It was not an inescapable passion for the craft that led me to this choice. It was simply an industry I found interesting at some point, which led to a major I picked rather logically. It’s always an anticlimactic story for the friends and family who ask.

Still, I was aware of the starving artist narrative that surrounded the filmmaking career. I have always been part of the traditional academic track and I didn’t know anyone with similar interest to talk about what the industry was like. I couldn’t jump headfirst into a career I knew nothing about, despite all the talk of staying hungry and foolish.

I could read articles on the trials and tribulations of filmmaking, but nothing could beat hands-on experience. Thus, I tried out different internships in Singapore, from an independent director to a social media company, to get a feel of the industry. Finding out how easy it was to fall in love with the craft was what made me hesitate on my choice to pursue filmmaking.

From Youtube to Tiktok to Twitch, the internet provides us with platforms to broadcast our content to a global audience. With cameras tagged to the back of our phones and editing software accessible online, the barriers to entry to being a content creator have never been lower. There are online tutorials on how to use industry grade software and masterclasses by professionals that hand out free guidance and advice to budding filmmakers.   While this increased accessibility promotes creativity, it also decreases the exclusivity of the skillset, reducing its market value.

I realised that I could practically learn how to make a film online, by watching videos by professionals and emulating them on my own. So could everyone. Everyone with better ideas than me, more life experience than me, and maybe just a tiny bit luckier than me.

Current streaming platforms disrupt the traditional pipeline towards making a film. The method of networking with producers at film school and taking on internships could be rendered obsolete by a piece of work with good internet traffic. The Martian was a film that was produced from a casual blogger’s brainchild, gaining a 100 million dollar budget over the thousands of scripts that went ignored. I was afraid that at some point, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was simply unsuited for this career.

I had plans to go to film school as a first step towards building a career, but anyone who googles “Should I go to film school” is faced with a wall of advice against it.

A film degree is notorious for being one of the most useless things you could print on paper. A film degree means a lot less than one’s working experience and portfolio. No one really cares which film school you graduated from, they only care about your performance on set. Instead of forking out fifty thousand dollars a year, many renowned filmmakers would advise you to invest that money into a short film instead. If you have access to taking up internships in Hollywood or developed film industries, this might be the more cost productive option.

However, in the sunny island of Singapore with a small local film industry, working on a film with no background qualifications or connections is not the most probable. I was not the best networker, nor was I particularly acquainted with anyone who would let me on set for a feature film.

For me, it was not the film degree that was important, but the process of film school. Networking and being constantly forced to create is not an environment which could naturally occur outside of film school, and I knew myself enough to know that I would find difficulty in creating that environment on my own. I wanted to use my four years to gain access to the tools that would help build my portfolio.

So, yes, I settled on getting a film degree. Then what next? (I am aware how foolish it sounds for an 18 year old to plan a career, but such is capitalism. Woe.)

Understandably, there are not many locally produced commercially viable films that hit the cinemas every year. In fact, to the layman, the film industry is monopolized by Jack Neo. This is not to say we lack local filmmaking talent. Filmmakers like Kristen Tan, Boo Jun Feng, Eric Khoo and Anthony Chen have gained international renown for their craft, but are relatively unknown to the Singapore populace. Eric Khoo’s Ramenteh had better box office reception in France than it did in Singapore. This is not a criticism of Singaporeans’ ignorance of the arts, but the inherent hurdles of a small population.

To have a reliable income and keep to their career as a filmmaker, Singaporean filmmakers and content creators find a more reliable source of income in making videos on Youtube.

The quality of videos uploaded to Youtube and other streaming sites have greatly increased over the years. Using the same foundations of storytelling and cinematography, some short videos are so well made it was almost unfair to have viewed it for free. But building a brand and gaining traction online takes time, and it is hard to justify sinking funds of a high quality production into an uncertain success. Social media companies, with established branding, can directly provide a platform to these content creators.

My internship with a social media company taught me much about videography, but I also quickly realised it was not something I wanted. The nature of social media calls for formulaic videos that follow trends, and the business model is understandably not one that promotes individual creativity. Adding on to the recent accusations of a toxic workplace environment of the biggest social media company in Singapore, it’s personally not a career path that I look forward to.

There wasn’t much certainty in my answer to the “What next?”. Truly, I do not seem to have a very bright outlook on Singapore’s film and media industry. Perhaps the industry is much more developed than I thought, but even now despite my efforts I am genuinely not privy to its inner workings.

There is no predictability in a career in the creative arts, and it is this very same draw that causes the most hesitation in aspiring filmmakers. At some point, you have to swallow the uncertainty and just trust yourself to do your best.

Of course, all is not bleak. Singapore is very successful in attracting large foreign production companies. Lucasfilms, Netflix, Warnermedia and even Tik Tok have set up regional hubs in Singapore. It is unsurprising to see a few Singaporean names in the credits of the latest Star Wars film, and it is encouraging to see more avenues for aspiring filmmakers in Singapore

Streaming platforms that no longer limit a film or television series to its local audience works well with our bilingual culture to give Singaporean filmmakers a better shot at hitting the international audience.

There is a line from a tribute speech by Donald Glover that stuck, where he said that in an age where the audience is flooded with content, it is hard to find something that can stand out. With that much global talent, hard work and creativity is abundant. I constantly doubt if this cutthroat industry is the right one for me, if I am talented enough to produce something that an audience can enjoy. I like to take comfort in this understanding: that there is a difference between being courageous and being cocky. Without the hesitation and constant questioning within oneself, it is not much of a leap of faith.