The Third Culture Kid

Where is home? To you, a simple question with a prompt response. But to me, a dreaded one followed by a string of complex explanations and left with an unresolved answer. Throughout my upbringing, this was a question I had always needed to keep on the backburner. But as I grew older, it became more difficult to pinpoint where exactly I belonged in this world. For I am a third culture kid (TCK), and have spent many stages of life across several different regions on Earth.

I was born in Israel, not so far away from Tel Aviv, into a family with a mix of Ukrainian and Moldovian roots. After a year and a half into life in Israel, my family relocated to the Netherlands. The first school that I remember attending was an American one. I was six at the time, and I remember almost every child being virtually homogeneous. Blonde hair and blue eyes. I loved spending my childhood in the Netherlands, but I was not yet introduced or fully immersed into an extensive multiracial or multi-ethnic community. That is, until I moved to Singapore.

This time, I began attending an American international school. Appraised for its diversity and its determination in devoting school-days to honor events like Deepavali, Vesak and Lunar New Year. The bubble that had preserved me from being introduced to different races and ethnic groups had diminished as I began meeting more and more students of different cultures and heritages. Some from Vietnam all the way to Uruguay! And as the spectrum of nationalities broadened, so did my cultural awareness.

As a TCK, I had certainly faced a myriad of challenges from a lack of cultural balance to difficulty forming relationships. Although I didn’t know it yet, being a TCK had actually been a blessing in disguise. For I had developed an expanded worldview, superb observational skills and the ability to adapt to almost any situation, among many other qualities that I may have taken for granted in the past. But all of the setbacks that had originally come from being a TCK dwindled, as I began living in Singapore. But why? Here are my observations.

Singapore is truly the heart of diversity. And I say this with full confidence. By June 2020, Singapore has welcomed 1.64 million expats with open arms. With Chinese, Malay and Indian being the most prominent nationalities that make up the island. Yet, Singapore still manages to celebrate and promote inclusivity for each and every cultural tradition and practice.

From manufacturing multiple places of worship to very little tolerance for racism, Singapore has shown and taught me about the different multiracial and multi-ethnic communities that have been fostered and embraced. And for that, I am grateful. Possibly one of the most important takeaways I have acquired from Singapore’s widespread diversity, is cultural sensitivity.

I remember the day I was told by my parents that we were moving to Singapore. I was six and a half years old at the time, and hadn’t fully wrapped my head around the concept of relocating to another country. I remember thinking to myself “Singapore, what’s that?”. After I began my studies and exploring the island, I gained so much more knowledge about religions, languages and different cultural practices that I had previously never known or heard about.

Going to the grocery store alone, you can hear passerbys speaking almost every kind of language, and hearing these different languages being spoken has truly come to sound like music to my ears.

I began studying Spanish as my second language in school and had also been provided opportunities to visit places of worship. One experience that truly stuck with me was when we visited a sacred temple. As I walked within the walls of the temple, I noticed worshippers praying and families huddled close together. Peace, I thought to myself.

After that day, I walked away with a profound sense of empathy and a new found respect for these religions and cultural groups. My school also hosts an event known as International Fiesta day, where students are encouraged to wear the sacred and religious garments from their culture. Cuisines from multi-ethnic communities are brought in for all to share and enjoy. And arguably the best part, the parade.

Where each country gets the opportunity to walk down the aisle leading into the celebratory venue all while displaying the flag of their country. It is a day of celebration and is almost symbolic of the unity for all cultural communities that not only my school has cultivated but also Singapore as a whole.

Admittedly, upon my arrival to Singapore. I did feel a sense of cultural divide between the different nationalities. Even today, having lived in Singapore for nine years and counting, occasionally I feel unwelcomed or even alienated throughout some parts of the island.

As a foreigner, this is something that I would look into improving, because while having multiple cultural communities living in conjunction shows growth and improvement, it is equally important for these communities to bond and form meaningful relationships in order to better understand one another.

Home may not have a clear address or an absolute location, but ultimately it is where I am surrounded by the people who support me and it is wherever I feel safe, heard and loved. That is my home. 

Photo by : Lynn Robchinsky 

Written by : Lynn Robchinsky